Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You With Behavior

by James Lehman, MSW

Kids manipulate their parents. It’s part of their normal routine. They learn to use their charms and strengths to get their way and negotiate more power in the family.

“You can be sure your child knows what it takes to make you back down.”

Some forms of manipulation by kids are harmless. For example, if your daughter wants x-y-z, and she’s extra charming to you that week, but she’s getting good grades, she’s trustworthy and she’s doing her chores, there’s no reason for her not to go. The display of charm is sweet, harmless and appropriate.

On the other hand, that charm can be used inappropriately, such as when a child plays one parent against another to get what he wants. Or when a child has demonstrated previously untrustworthy behavior and tries to manipulate his parents by being overly sweet and compliant in order to get the chance to go out on Friday night.

Read full article Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You With Behavior

Advertisements

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 18:28:38

    What children want and what they need are often two different things. Help them to help themselves and the family. The less time you do things for them, the more time you have to do things with them.

    see http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com

    Thanks, Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Topics

Archives

%d bloggers like this: